Some days, you look in the mirror and you really feel that girl looking back at you… J Lo, who?! Hunny, you’ve got it going on! The very next day, you look in that same mirror and it’s like blah. You think, “girl you look like sh!t.”
Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but honestly, I’ve had that exact experience and those exact thoughts. I know I can’t be alone on this one.
When that happened to me just the other day, my first thought was “I’ve got to do a blog post on this.” I’ve got to turn this around. I’ve got to find some positive in this shitty feeling. I’ve got to share it for the ladies who are stuck in this “blah” mood too.
Okay, why do I keep spelling shit like sh!t haha. As if that’s more appropriate. For the sake of keeping it real, let’s just use the word shit. Well, just the other day… Monday to be exact… I felt like complete shit.
I had a baby one month ago. Every single day up until this Monday, I had nothing but positive body thoughts. I’m so grateful that I was able to concieve and carry my baby. I am amazed by what the human body can do. It was truly the most amazing experience of my life.
Buttt… on Monday, I felt that I looked like shit. Then, that made me feel like shit. Then I felt bad I was feeling like shit, which was shitty too haha.
Here’s what happened…
I went to the park to workout and I asked Anthony to record a few clips of the movements I was doing so I could put together a video to share with y’all on Instagram.
When I watched the video clips, I was like “omg, do I look like that?” To which he responded, “you look great, babe!” Husbands must all be wired to say that when they know you’re not happy with how you look lol.
Oh, and, for some silly reason I thought a crop top was a good option to wear. I put it on not even thinking about “will this look flattering” because that’s what I’m used to doing. Well, spoiler alert… it wasn’t the most flattering outfit.
My stomach looked loose and flabby. I felt like I had no visible muscle definition. Really though…it wasn’t even about how I looked because that’s not what really matters.
I felt shitty because I didn’t feel like “myself.” I normally take a video and am so proud of how I look regardless of what I see. I normally make up a workout and complete it without dying.
Not on Monday.
I felt that I looked like shit and I was struggling with movements I normally don’t get challenged by.
WHY WE CAN’T BE CONFIDENT ALL OF THE TIME…
As I was leaving the park, I had that thought about turning this into a blog post. I don’t like feeling down – who does?! So I’m always looking for ways to turn a negative experience into something good.
I immediately jumped onto IG stories to share that I just wasn’t feeling myself today and I wasn’t at all confident in how I looked.
I followed it up with something like… “I know the confidence police will come out and tell me to love myself, love my body and be positive but feeling that way all of the time is ideal but just not real.”
You know what I mean??
Heck, I’m the first one to preach about self love and loving your body no matter what it looks like but that doesn’t make it easy.
Bottom line thought… you don’t have to feel confident all day every day. That’s an unrealistic expectation. Why set unrealistic expectations?! We shouldn’t!
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT…
Simple – own it!
When you don’t feel good, embrace it.
My solution sounds silly but so often when we feel an emotion we don’t want to feel, we fight it off. You know what I mean?
Think of the last time you were sad or didn’t feel confident. I’m sure you tried to tell yourself you weren’t sad and pushed down those feelings.
We are women. We are the queens of “oh yeah, I’m okay” when in reality we are so far from okay.
To be perfectly honest, I’m not used to looking at a photo or video of myself and not liking what I see. Again, it’s not because I look amazing; it’s because I don’t look for flaws.
On Monday, however, that wasn’t the case. All I could see were flaws.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I jumped on IG Stories to share about it and I started outlining this post on my phone.
What surprised me was how quickly those negative feelings escaped me. All of the sudden, I became confident in how I was turning around the situation.
It was like I was onto something… feel the feeling no matter how icky it feels.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU FEEL IT…
Here’s something a little proactive that we all need to do too… fake it until you feel it.
I don’t mean that in an inauthentic way. I’m not saying you should put up a Facebook status of “Loving Life #Blessed” when you feel like shit.
What I’m saying is that if you’re not feeling confident, fake it a little bit until you truly feel that way.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself your beautiful. Say it out loud 10x as you look yourself in the eyes.
Google some positive affirmations and read them.
Open your Notes and write down 3 things you love about yourself.
That will force you into feeling a little bit more confident. If you can fake it just a little bit, it will develop naturally.
This is the workout clip I was talking about…
Here are the real/behind the scenes photos of me feeling like shit. I thought it was important to share these because Anthony was trying to be cute and get a fitness picture but when you don’t feel confident, it comes out looking like it haha.
And, here I am after I decided to turn the situation around. I’m faking the confidence a little bit and I swear I already felt more confident in this photo than I did just 20 minutes prior.
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