This post is for those of us who may have a shitty day this week, feel like our problems are greater than our blessings, lack motivation or just feel stuck in a funk. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I love to be a source of positivity, but I also like to keep it real. We all face difficult times, so hopefully this helps you handle a crappy day and get through a tough situation.
WE ALL HAVE BAD DAYS
I think one of the more difficult things about having a bad day is the illusion that you’re the only person in the world facing a tough time. But, when you’re having a shitty day, it does feel like that, doesn’t it?!
I always try to remind myself when I’m having a down day or a tough moment that it’s normal. Last month’s LG Book Club pick was “Option B” by Sheryl Sandberg; in her book, she talks about the 3 P’s: something that difficult times trick you into thinking. One of those 3 P’s is personalization aka feeling you’re the only one who is going through something tough. If we can shake that thought, we can move through tough stuff. It’s so much easier said than done, but ever since I read that, I always keep it in the back of my mind and it helps.
THINGS NOT TO DO:
GET THE HELL OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media gets a bad rep for being a “highlight reel.” I understand that criticism but that is just kind of the nature of social media. We take pictures and share things that are funny, exciting, happy, momentous. Could you imagine how unenjoyable Facebook would be if you jumped on to read a list of complaints from all your friends… over and over and over. After some time, we would just stop using it. It’s not that social media isn’t real; it just has a certain purpose.
However, when you’re having a crummy day, social media is the worst! It will make you feel like everyone is happy and loving life and you’re alone on a miserable island. Just know that and do your very best to stay off of social media until you’re in a different mindset.
I’m going to share something and I want to preface it by saying I am certainly not looking for sympathy or anyone to pat my back, but this is something many of us may be able to relate to. I guess my job could be considered a blogger. When people refer to me as that, I have a hard time agreeing only because blogging just one of the many things I do each day to keep the LG business going.
I remember back to when I was a college student, trying to get into dental school and my life was anything less than desirable. I followed health & fitness and lifestyle/fashion bloggers; I would think, “their lives look so perfect” and “I could look like that if my job was to workout or get dressed up.” As an outsider, everything looks more appealing, you know?
Then, I became a “blogger.” I don’t want anyone to look at my life the way I looked at bloggers. I saw the end result but I never took into the consideration the struggle to get there or the challenges they face behind the scenes.
Even in my case, someone who meets me today may think it’s cool that I have a blog with a large readership. But you may not know that I spent years struggling with finding my passion. You may not know that my path getting here was pretty miserable… I didn’t have much fun in college. I spent all my spare time studying to achieve this dental school dream. I grew this blog from a place of being insecure and not in the best mindset.
Even now, you wouldn’t come to my blog or see my social pages and realize that just like everyone else, I have to worry about what my job will be like in 5 years, paying my bills, saving money for the future, and balancing everything in life. You wouldn’t know that I struggle with being pregnant and having a baby at any moment, yet working all day (including weekends!). And likely, I’ll be working right after my baby is born because there’s no such thing as maternity leave when you own your own business.
Again, don’t feel sorry for me. I chose this. But a pretty little picture with a sweet caption posted on Internet wouldn’t convey that same message. My point is comparison is purposeless because we are never getting the full story. You don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes in someone’s like, so don’t worry about what others are doing.
THINGS TO TRY:
GETTING IT OUT
Whether getting it out means crying, writing down all your problems, journaling, venting, etc., do it! A long time ago, someone very wise told me that feeling your feelings helps you move through them. When I’m having a bad day, I typically try to ignore it and push those feelings down. Do you know what I mean? It’s like twenty seven things go wrong and your co-worker asks how you are doing to which you reply, “So great! Isn’t this weather amazing?! How are you, girl?” Yeah, we’ve all been there.
Instead, try feeling whatever it is that you’re feeling. If you’re sad, allow yourself to be sad. If you’re angry, be angry. If you are hating your job but don’t know exactly where to go next or if you’re in an unhealthy relationship yet don’t know if being alone is any better… allow yourself to feel that instead of pushing it down and trying to convince yourself you’re okay.
I do all of the previously mentioned things to let my feelings out; they seem extremely silly, but they work. Even if you have to hide your true feelings from others, be real with yourself. Let it out and I promise you’ll feel so much better.
Motivational speaker and author, Gabrielle Bernstein was the first one who introduced me to the idea of -ING. Basically, it means adding more doing to your life: singing, dancing, laughing, crafting, lifting, anything that involves you getting out there and doing something.
I didn’t want this post to be one of those “well, obviously” self-help posts, so I hope this doesn’t come off that way. When I’m having a really crummy day, all I want to do is sit on the couch and sulk. I like to be alone when I’m not feeling my best. Yet, what always seems to turn it around is when I add -ing to my day. The one thing I can always count on to get me out of a funk is a walk. Not walking for exercise (I mean that would be great if I had that incentive while in a bad mood), but usually I just walk because I know it shifts my perspective.
Whatever your -ING is, be sure to DO it! I know on a shitty ass day it will be the last thing you actually want to do, but if you can just make yourself do a little, it will do a lot for the way you feel.
We all know life can be tough, but so are you. You are amazing. You are stronger than you think. You will get through whatever life has thrown you way. Just never forget that you CAN and you WILL overcome. If you keep pressing forward, you will break through!